It is difficult for me to write this post. It involves my oldest daughter who turns 12 today & there are simply no words that could do her justice. Maybe Shakespeare or Whitman or Dickinson could whip up something fitting but me, I struggle.

Anna was born out of my amazing love affair with my husband. We were married for less than a year when we decided to try & make a baby. She was conceived within the month. We were poor. We lived above a bakery in town & our apartment stunk like fried dough & grease. We had one bedroom, some used furniture, & God we were in love!

We decided to have a homebirth with a local midwife & soon after seeing her for the first time, I had a very vivid dream where she told me that my baby was absolutely perfect & that I had nothing to worry about. So I never worried. My pregnancy was wonderful. I felt so lovely & so happy & although I never got an ultrasound, I knew that she was a girl. “How do you know?” people would ask & I could never explain but I could feel it & I knew her in a way that I could never quite put into words without sounding like a loon. And inside me she was sending off her joy to me. “This baby is different” I would think to myself. She was due December 8 but she arrived 2 days early after a long labor & many hours of pushing. It was snowing & cold & I was over the moon. Anna we called her. Both of my great grandmothers were Anna & my husbands Grandma as well. She was perfect with an Apgar of 10 & a whole room of people who were waiting to get her in their arms. And no lie folks, she held her head up when she was about 30 minutes old & looked around the room & I said to myself again, “this baby is different…”

Could it be 12 years since that cold December night? Yesterday I told my friend that the part I hate most about her being 12 is that I sometimes forget her at 3, & 7 & 9. I have to be reminded with photos or home movies. I forget the way she smelled & the way she looked without her teeth. I forget how she used to nurse from my breast. I forget the million funny things she said & how she would sleep curled up in my arms at night. Dammit, I forget.

And yet, Anna at 12 is more wonderful & beautiful than I could have ever dreamed on that night.  She still sends off her joy to me. She is perhaps, the happiest person I have ever met. She loves life & her family & her friends & her dancing. She loves sushi & music & reading & story writing. She wakes every morning, every single morning, with a smile on her face & a bounce in her step. She runs to me when I pick her up at Girl Scouts or dance & in front of all her friends, she hugs me tight & yells “Mama!! I missed you!”, without caring what anyone thinks or how she is supposed to now be embarassed by me & act aloof. . She is her own girl & for that I am most proud of all.

She loves both Hanna Montana & Chopin. She reads Nancy Drew & has read Clara Barton’s biography about a dozen times. She loves to wear a dress even though her friends stopped wearing them years ago. I want to tell her that if she truly wants to be a teenager, she is going to have to  abandon her 19th century vocabulary in favor of the overuse of the word “like” She gives no thought at all to the fact that she still carries her doll Lizzy around with her. She  simply loves her & wants to keep her around awhile longer. She is neither immature nor to mature. She is just Anna & happy to be so.

How lucky I am to be her mom. This past summer I said to her, “I cannot believe you are going to be 12 soon!” And she said, “I know mom. I am almost going to be a teenager. I am going to be impossible!”And we all had a good laugh at that because Anna couldn’t be impossible if she tried.

These little people had to contend with wind & cold temps today but the whole gang hung in there with me & we got it done! I even managed one or two great smiles from little man M. who was, shall we say, not in the mood today for me & my camera:)

And baby sister, who was completely on board with posing for me.

Baby M. arrived on the planet about 11 days ago. I think she’s lovely. And I hope her Mum & Dad thought it was worth  having me lurking around for 3 hours…

I love new clients. Well, I love old clients too but going to a new clients home is an adventure of sorts…first I have to get lost 2 or 3 times with my Mapquest in hand & once I finally arrive (after vowing to never again use Mapquest) I get to meet everyone & take in all the sights, sounds & energy that is so unique to each family.

When I got to the C family, Dad was listening to some cool music with Baby Boy & singing right along. Later Mom was trying to get Baby Boy’s attention & she started singing to him & I was blown away by her voice. She sang in the way that we all imagined we would sing to our babies~before reality set in & we lowered our expectations. I said, “please tell me you sing everyday! In a band or something.” And thank goodness! She really did sing in a choral group & so did Mr. C & that was in fact, how these 2 happy, beautiful singing people met:)

And, you know how it ends…they lived happily ever after….

There are some huge moments in the life of a child. First steps, first lost tooth, first day of school & right on until college there are moments to celebrate & document. For a dancer, the day you get your first pair of pointe shoes may just be the most memorable.

I have 2 ballet dancer daughters. My oldest spends a lot of long hours thinking about dance, talking about dance, reading dance magazines, hanging out with her dance friends & then of course, actually dancing. My second child started to dance when she saw all the fun her sister was having & the next thing I know, they are both ballet nuts. We are lucky to be at a school filled to the brim with talented, smart, dedicated girls. (Sadly no boys as out only  one left but we could use some….why American boys don’t wanna hang out with pretty girls in leotards all day is beyond me)

Of course pointe shoes are the goal of every young ballerina & the day you go to get your first pair is right up there with Christmas. With my oldest, we drove to the city for her shoes & let me tell ya how much fun it was to have to drive to the city with my 4 kids in my Yukon Denali XL on a6 foot wide street & drag them all into the tiny store that housed all those pretty pink shoes. Later we learned about the amazing Miss Kelli who owns her own shop in Perkasie PA & fits pointe shoes like a dream.

Who knew that pointe shoe fitting was an art? It is really beautiful to watch in fact. First she looks over your feet & determines which shoes might work on your shape.

And because Miss Kelli is so gifted, she usually gets it just right…

Then up you go for a check!

Sigh…look at those long, lovely legs…she gets those from her father. Her feet too, which Miss Kelli says are the feet dancers kill for. (She got the good looks from her dad but the sarcasm & attitude, those are all me!)

The world needs more beauty so sign those boys & girls up for ballet!  And take them to Miss Kelli when they need some pretty new shoes.

She was just a wee tiny girl when I met her & every time I see her I am more in love with her than the time before. Her momma & daddy are, predictably, as amazing as their little girl. We hung out in the chilly air today & had a lot of laughs & just enjoyed watching the Baby G. show. I give it 2 thumbs up.

Thanks guys!

Whenever a client books a session, I like to spend some time talking about clothing. Clothes are, in my opinion, a much better “prop” than just about anything. They can really change the whole outcome of a shoot & that is why it’s worth talking about.

Sometimes people like to match it all up or do the white shirt & jeans thing…or the black shirt & jeans…or the denim shirts & khakis….you get what I mean. And, that’s cool too but I tell families to coordinate, not match, because I want you all to feel like yourselves & honestly, how many of us march off to the grocery store in identical outfits? So there is a way to be yourself & dress how you would normally dress but bring it altogether.

My beautiful client, Mrs. R got it right on the money! She & her gorgeous, amazing family (did I say gorgeous?) showed up in perfect harmony. She picked a pretty dress for the lovely Miss A & then got the family moving in that direction.

Voila!

A little brown, a little blue, mix up the prints & you look like you all belong together while still being YOU! Of course, your version can be anything you want it to be & can be even less “dressy”. The lesson here is that time you take to really think about clothing will pay off in the end.

I owe JJ BIG TIME! She is a patient & loyal client & she has had to wait awhile for a peek at her boys. Her boys, S. & B. are non stop, on the move & runnin wild from the minute we meet. At least most of the time…sometimes they sit still.

The other 99% of the time, I chase them around with my camera. Or….

I stick them up in trees!

When will these guys learn that they will never outlast this old broad?

How many weeks has it been since I posted? A lot. Maybe there is no one still even bothering to check in & read & I wouldn’t blame you one wee tiny bit. It’s the pulling & tugging. The million things that are chasing me around this time of year~the sessions, the proofing, the girls ballet season of the Nutcracker…the normal stuff too and despite my best attempt to get something posted here, I fail.

There are so many things to talk about these days & so much I want to share~~new session photos, some random photography stuff & and regular life too. My cousin Magee likes the regular life stuff most of all…

I just spent 4 days in Las Vegas with my beloved. We celebrated his 40th birthday there  & returned to a Phillies victory parade & Halloween…way to jump back into the swing of things.  I even cheated & bought plastic “carved” pumpkins since there wasn’t time to carve out real ones. Is this what I have become?

I know some of you have been waiting patiently (or maybe cursing me in the privacy of your own homes but you send nice sweet emails anyway!) so I am going to do my very best to catch up & suspend both the pull & the tug.

I leave you with Baby L. He was NOT thrilled to see me & he was wanting a nap in a bad way but man oh man is he cute. Thanks for hanging in there for me baby boy!

Pretty dresses & hair bows.

Pretty green grass.

Pretty blue eyes.

Pretty red hair.

As much as I love black & white photography, some things are better left the way you found them.